Decisions Decisions

The recent passing of the icon's icon, Michael Jackson, brought several past items back to the forefront.  The one I've recently pondered is the "controversial" allegation/accusation that Papa Joe "beat" his kids.  My reaction was, as it always is, apathetic at best.  Not that I don't care about the well-being of all the world's children...I sincerely do.  Apathetic in the sense that I happen to believe in discipline for children.  More on that in a minute...

I have a particular cousin who would ride to school with my mom until one day he simply stopped and began walking.  He also stopped dressing out for p.e. class.  One particular day, the instructor insisted he dress out.  When he emerged from the shower room, the proverbial kaka hit the fan.  The backs of both his thighs were criss-crossed with raw, open wounds from having been "beaten" repeatedly and unmercifully with an extension cord.  In very short order, the Peterson family knew.  My family is one of the closest, loving, caring, and giving groups on earth.  However, that is undoubtedly the one time most of its members came close to prison sentences.  But I digress...

Where is the line between spankings or whippings and abuse?  Does a parent discipline by spanking and risk accusations by some in society who would call the action child abuse?  And in turn report the supposed offenders to CPS, the police, or some other agency?  But if that parent decides not to spank and instead employs other methods that prove less effective, then what?  If the child gets into trouble, the parent is held responsible and possibly even prosecuted depending on the child's transgression.   

It's so ironic that when parents attempt to instill discipline via physical remedy, they are accused of abuse.  But the first thing society will ask if a child runs into trouble is where were the parents?  As a parent, which way do you turn?  Which choice do you make?  Some might say, why not use timeouts?  Scenario:  Lil Johnny considers pushing his sister off the swing.  Two possible thoughts enter his head.  A) If I do it, mommy will put me in timeout.  B) If I do it, mommy will bust my behind.  I leave it to you to debate which might be more persuasive in preempting the push and teaching a lesson about consequences.  

The Bible instructs to train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.  The Bible also teaches that he who spares the rod spoils the child.  To paraphrase a sound bite I once heard, if I don't hit my child now, the world will hit him harder.  Interesting...

Epilogue

Bolivar County (MS) school district #6 used corporate punishment (we called it whoopin's) from the first grade through the twelfth.  And yes, I had my share.  To make matters worse, if the offense was egregious enough, you'd get a beat down from the principal, a three-day suspension. and another beat down when your parents found out.  But guess what.  This school district...in the poorest region...in the poorest state in the union didn't produce maladjusted adults predisposed to violence nor did it produce disproportionate amounts of felons and/or petty criminals.  What it did produce though was a steady stream of productive members of society in all fields of endeavor:  system administrator/FDA, major/US Army, staff editor/Wall St. Journal, charge nurse/Emory University Hospital, grant writer/Iowa Coalition Against Sexual Assault, physician/Duke University Hospital, defensive lineman/Pittsburgh Steelers, corporate attorney/Baker/Donelson (top 100 law firms in the US), state trooper/Texas, engineer/Ford Motor Company, vice president/Bank of America, authors, preachers, teachers, craftsmen, etc...and that's just a sampling of '87-'90 graduates.

Do I list all this to persuade?  No.  Do I list all this to raise a different perspective?  Maybe.  Just because a belief is en vogue doesn't make it necessarily reality.  Ultimately, the individual must decide for his or herself.  Con ojos critico simply seeks to have you think for yourself.