The Hidden Truth Behind Daughters and Dogs

I'm going to talk about a hot topic, yet for me, there are much deeper dynamics at play. I won't touch on them overtly. See if you can figure them out on your own....

Society continues to disappoint. Michael Vick did horrible things to dogs. Horrible things. As a result, he was vilified by the public and media alike. Ben Roethlisberger does horrible things to young girls. Horrible things. As a result, (insert cricket sounds here)...

How is it that a society as sophisticated as ours can devolve to where animals are regarded more highly than people? To be clear, I understand that Big Ben hasn't been convicted or even charged with a crime. That's not the point. Forget law & order for a second...forget the soft approach mainstream media outlets have taken...and consider this litany.

-the young lady Ben allegedly sexually assaulted is nineteen. Where I'm from, nineteen is still included in the teenage years. She's a teenage girl.

-the teenage girl Ben allegedly sexually assaulted was drinking; certainly no shock here that a teenager was engaged in under aged drinking. The key here is that Big Ben is 28...darn near 30. In other words, he's a grown ___ man. Where I'm from, grown ___ men qualify as adults (regardless of intelligence level).

-adults aren't supposed to allow, promote, or in any way condone under aged drinking.

What kind of adult, not only condones partaking in the sloppy inebriation of a teenage girl and then takes advantage of her drunken state by leading her to a "dingy bathroom" to have sex with her? Answer: Ben Roethisberger.

So, to recap, Big Ben Roethlisberger, an adult, contributes to the delinquent behavior of a minor, fails to offer her protection from herself, takes her into a cordoned rear bathroom, and allegedly sexually assaults her (confirmed sexual intercourse did take place). Yet, there's no outrage, no venom, no shouts of reprehensible behavior, sexual predator (third known such instance for Big Ben), cad, cretin,....nothing...from the public, women's rights groups, or mass media outlets. I don't get it.

So, is this what we've become? "You can sexually assault my teenage daughter, but you better not lay a finger on my dog..."

Sigh, what has happened to "my" America? Does my status as a black man render this question moot? Rhetorical at best some might argue. I purposely waited before trying to capture my thoughts on the pending topic-to your eyes only...for it has been in heavy rotation in my mind since the gentleman from South Carolina broke from eons of tradition and decorum to call the President of the United States a liar.

What is this country coming to? Wait. That actually happened. Correction. What has become of this country? I like to think of myself as an "eyes wide open" type, yet I don't want to believe what I am seeing. Many would be quick to use President Obama's mere existence as proof that racism doesn't exist, or at least, is clearly not as prevalent as it once was. Yet, when we have members of the clergy publicly praying...praying mind you...for the death of their President, what is one left to think? Before you answer, consider this. President Obama, a first year office-holder, has yet to suffer a/an...

...Watergate scandal
...Iran-Contra affair
...Vietnam War
...Monica Lewinsky scandal
...Iraq
...Bay of Pigs
...failure to Oppose Sucession

Now, I don't know this for fact. Maybe somewhere...somewhere...tucked away in a mountain hollow or a rolling central plain...there might have been a member of the clergy publicy praying for the death of President Richard Nixon, President Ronald Reagan, President Lyndon Johnson, President William Clinton, President George W. Bush, President John F. Kennedy, or President James Buchanan. But if there was someone, I'm not aware of it and certainly not to the high profile extent of the current abhorrent behavior.

So, as a logical, reasonable, and fairly intelligent person, I have ask the question: what makes President Barak Obama different from the aforementioned list of past Presidents? Well, for one, he's serving in a different time and under a different climate. Nope! His time and climate are the same as President George W. Bush's and President Clinton's. Hmmm, valid point.

Okay, I've got it. President Obama is a Democrat. Nope! The referenced list is representative, as the say in D.C., of both sides of the aisle.

Alright, here we go. President Obama was born in the little-known middle eastern country of Badguystibad. Nope! He was born in Honolulu, Hawaii in 1961 and in case you aren't up on your statehood history, the Big Aloha came onboard in 1959. Dang, thought I had it that time.

So, I'm fresh out of answers. Oh wait! There is one thing that makes President Obama different from not only the other Presidents mentioned, but every last past President....his wife is black.

Let's review. We have a fairly new President who has been linked to no significant scandals or controversies, whose most glaring skeleton to-date is a lack of bowling skills, who is undoubtedly an American citizen, who is undoubtedly not a Muslim terrorist, and who-wether you agree with his politics or not-is doing what all President's worth their salt attempt to do, leave a legacy of good. Yet there are religious leaders praying for his death. Really? Is that what Jesus would do? Not the one I know. The Jesus I know, and He is the one and only Jesus, teaches that we are to love one another. As a matter of fact, Jesus explicitly teaches to love your enemies. He further queries his followers thusly...how can you say you love God and hate your brother?

Here's the rub for me. Yes, absolutely we have come a long way in our society. Yet progress attained does not necessarily equate to progress complete. Something is amiss. Something is wrong. When clergymen are openly praying for the death of their President and when members of Congress, comprised purportedly of the finest and most educated we have to offer, behave boorishly and embarassingly juvenile as the President delivers an address to its joint session, something is definitely afoot.

Just ask yourself one question. Pourquoi?

Decisions Decisions

The recent passing of the icon's icon, Michael Jackson, brought several past items back to the forefront.  The one I've recently pondered is the "controversial" allegation/accusation that Papa Joe "beat" his kids.  My reaction was, as it always is, apathetic at best.  Not that I don't care about the well-being of all the world's children...I sincerely do.  Apathetic in the sense that I happen to believe in discipline for children.  More on that in a minute...

I have a particular cousin who would ride to school with my mom until one day he simply stopped and began walking.  He also stopped dressing out for p.e. class.  One particular day, the instructor insisted he dress out.  When he emerged from the shower room, the proverbial kaka hit the fan.  The backs of both his thighs were criss-crossed with raw, open wounds from having been "beaten" repeatedly and unmercifully with an extension cord.  In very short order, the Peterson family knew.  My family is one of the closest, loving, caring, and giving groups on earth.  However, that is undoubtedly the one time most of its members came close to prison sentences.  But I digress...

Where is the line between spankings or whippings and abuse?  Does a parent discipline by spanking and risk accusations by some in society who would call the action child abuse?  And in turn report the supposed offenders to CPS, the police, or some other agency?  But if that parent decides not to spank and instead employs other methods that prove less effective, then what?  If the child gets into trouble, the parent is held responsible and possibly even prosecuted depending on the child's transgression.   

It's so ironic that when parents attempt to instill discipline via physical remedy, they are accused of abuse.  But the first thing society will ask if a child runs into trouble is where were the parents?  As a parent, which way do you turn?  Which choice do you make?  Some might say, why not use timeouts?  Scenario:  Lil Johnny considers pushing his sister off the swing.  Two possible thoughts enter his head.  A) If I do it, mommy will put me in timeout.  B) If I do it, mommy will bust my behind.  I leave it to you to debate which might be more persuasive in preempting the push and teaching a lesson about consequences.  

The Bible instructs to train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.  The Bible also teaches that he who spares the rod spoils the child.  To paraphrase a sound bite I once heard, if I don't hit my child now, the world will hit him harder.  Interesting...

Epilogue

Bolivar County (MS) school district #6 used corporate punishment (we called it whoopin's) from the first grade through the twelfth.  And yes, I had my share.  To make matters worse, if the offense was egregious enough, you'd get a beat down from the principal, a three-day suspension. and another beat down when your parents found out.  But guess what.  This school district...in the poorest region...in the poorest state in the union didn't produce maladjusted adults predisposed to violence nor did it produce disproportionate amounts of felons and/or petty criminals.  What it did produce though was a steady stream of productive members of society in all fields of endeavor:  system administrator/FDA, major/US Army, staff editor/Wall St. Journal, charge nurse/Emory University Hospital, grant writer/Iowa Coalition Against Sexual Assault, physician/Duke University Hospital, defensive lineman/Pittsburgh Steelers, corporate attorney/Baker/Donelson (top 100 law firms in the US), state trooper/Texas, engineer/Ford Motor Company, vice president/Bank of America, authors, preachers, teachers, craftsmen, etc...and that's just a sampling of '87-'90 graduates.

Do I list all this to persuade?  No.  Do I list all this to raise a different perspective?  Maybe.  Just because a belief is en vogue doesn't make it necessarily reality.  Ultimately, the individual must decide for his or herself.  Con ojos critico simply seeks to have you think for yourself.

Why Must I

It occurs to me that freedom is a most valuable treasure and one not easily earned. However, one particular freedom that I find myself constantly seeking...is that most personal of freedoms...the freedom to be oneself.

There is nothing quite as valuable, as exhilerating, as supremely liberating as having the latitude to be yourself in every aspect. I can quote no scientific studies, yet there is absolute truth in the following: the overwhelming majority of us go through life each day conforming and assimilating to imposed norms [norms dictated by popular culture, by employers, by schools, by churches, by spouses, by significant others, by commercials, by family by friends, etc]. I know I fall prey to these imposed norms and probability is high that you do as well.

To be clear, I'm certainly not advocating anarchy, nor am I condoning slack behavior. Instead, I am merely supposing in the fantastical realm of my mind just how sublime it would be to just... be...me.

By nature, I tend to deny my most natural wants and desires to please those close to me...and even those not so close. But moving beyond this fact, if I take time to myself (something of a need for me), I am labeled a recluse or anti social. If I show compassion or concern for an employee, I am considered weak by peers. If I pierce my nose, I'm a freak. If I sport a tatoo, I am affixed with a variety of connotations, most of which aren't positive. If I sing in the halls, I am silly and/or unprofessional. Why must I be those things? Why can't I just be me?

My mom has shared many words of wisdom over the years. It seems the older I get, the sharper her perspectives become. I'll share this one. Every person is (you guessed it) a person. Profound? Deep? Not so much. Wisdom enriched? Beyond question. Simply said, every one of us deserves, at a minimum, consideration and respect for simply being a person. Stated differently, if Jack is allowed to enjoy his favorite show, why shouldn't Jill be afforded the same consideration? We should be careful not to ask others to conform to our norms. You are you...already. Why must I be?